You know you have a problem when you begin to fear your fear before you have anything to fear...

Flipped on the TV this morning and the station happened to be on a Christian program with Joyce Meyer. “Funny,” I thought to myself, “I think the Lord must want to talk to me this morning!”
So, Joyce’s message was all about fear. Fear of not having enough, fear of not being enough, and fear of our fears even before they become a reality.

See, to be completely honest, I am a worrier about “my plan.” My biggest fear is that something will ruin my career plan, my financial plan, my family plan, my health plan and so on and so forth.

Why? Well, because I’m a planner of EVERYTHING!

I have always had a career plan… that in turn affected my financial plan…that in turn affected my family plan…and well, even a “future” family plan that would allow me to save so that I can have enough saved for my grown kids and grandkids!

Now, I do believe in planning so that I am carefully and wisely using what God’s given me, but I cannot use that as an excuse for fear. I cannot use that as an excuse for desiring control. I cannot use that as an excuse for stress (or putting my stress about these plans onto others…like Jon, my husband).

I need to give up control…and more importantly recognize I don’t need to have control.

It’s funny, I think if we have a hard time recognizing who is in control, God has a quiet way of reminding us.

So, as I sit here, currently on bed rest due to some complications of my pregnancy, fearing when and how our new baby Micah will arrive… whether he will be healthy or too little… and fearing how “my financial plan” will work now that I will be out of work for an unexpected month plus, I realize…none of this was or is part of “my plan,” but maybe it is a part of God’s. Maybe He is teaching me to rest in His arms and His plan – let go of my fear and just be.

Just a little over a month ago my step sister and her newborn baby girl passed away due to complications of pregnancy. Although I have no idea why or how this could have been a part of God’s plan, I do know that this tragic event taught us all to recognize the preciousness of the time God has given us here on Earth and to make the most of it…living a life without regret, living a life serving others, living a life without fear – just as Krista did.

God is teaching me that life is temporary… that I am not in control of everything… and most importantly that I cannot truly “plan” for everything…all I can do is follow “God’s plan” for my life and hope that at the end of it He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

So, with all that said, my prayer today is that I will continue to learn how to let go of my own fears (even before I have anything to fear), recognize the plan that God has for me and my family is the best and rest easy knowing that He is my sustainer, my rock, my protector, my provider, and my God. Amen.

Matthew 6:25, 6:31, 6:34…

“You know you have a problem when you begin to fear your fear before you have anything to fear.” –Joyce Meyer

Picture taken just a little over 33 weeks...now I'm nearing 35 weeks!
Stay put just a little longer Baby Micah!