"You are sunshine on a cloudy day!"

During our premarital counseling, my husband and I both took surveys in order to better understand our individual personalities. One of the things the profiles both said was that we were each like... "sunshine on a cloudy day." To this day we enjoy teasing each other about this funny little fact. :)

Sometimes we are sunshine...and sometimes we're not. But, we are soooo in love and are completely enjoying our journey in life together.

As we grow in love and in numbers, I invite you to follow our blog! It is bound to be a messy, silly, fun and exciting adventure. Sit back, grab a blanket, maybe even a cup of tea and get ready for a laugh or two. Welcome to our family! May God greatly bless you today!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

You know you have a problem when you begin to fear your fear before you have anything to fear...

Flipped on the TV this morning and the station happened to be on a Christian program with Joyce Meyer. “Funny,” I thought to myself, “I think the Lord must want to talk to me this morning!”
So, Joyce’s message was all about fear. Fear of not having enough, fear of not being enough, and fear of our fears even before they become a reality.

See, to be completely honest, I am a worrier about “my plan.” My biggest fear is that something will ruin my career plan, my financial plan, my family plan, my health plan and so on and so forth.

Why? Well, because I’m a planner of EVERYTHING!

I have always had a career plan… that in turn affected my financial plan…that in turn affected my family plan…and well, even a “future” family plan that would allow me to save so that I can have enough saved for my grown kids and grandkids!

Now, I do believe in planning so that I am carefully and wisely using what God’s given me, but I cannot use that as an excuse for fear. I cannot use that as an excuse for desiring control. I cannot use that as an excuse for stress (or putting my stress about these plans onto others…like Jon, my husband).

I need to give up control…and more importantly recognize I don’t need to have control.

It’s funny, I think if we have a hard time recognizing who is in control, God has a quiet way of reminding us.

So, as I sit here, currently on bed rest due to some complications of my pregnancy, fearing when and how our new baby Micah will arrive… whether he will be healthy or too little… and fearing how “my financial plan” will work now that I will be out of work for an unexpected month plus, I realize…none of this was or is part of “my plan,” but maybe it is a part of God’s. Maybe He is teaching me to rest in His arms and His plan – let go of my fear and just be.

Just a little over a month ago my step sister and her newborn baby girl passed away due to complications of pregnancy. Although I have no idea why or how this could have been a part of God’s plan, I do know that this tragic event taught us all to recognize the preciousness of the time God has given us here on Earth and to make the most of it…living a life without regret, living a life serving others, living a life without fear – just as Krista did.

God is teaching me that life is temporary… that I am not in control of everything… and most importantly that I cannot truly “plan” for everything…all I can do is follow “God’s plan” for my life and hope that at the end of it He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

So, with all that said, my prayer today is that I will continue to learn how to let go of my own fears (even before I have anything to fear), recognize the plan that God has for me and my family is the best and rest easy knowing that He is my sustainer, my rock, my protector, my provider, and my God. Amen.

Matthew 6:25, 6:31, 6:34…

“You know you have a problem when you begin to fear your fear before you have anything to fear.” –Joyce Meyer

Picture taken just a little over 33 weeks...now I'm nearing 35 weeks!
Stay put just a little longer Baby Micah!


  1. Kendall, what a powerful lesson. I have been learning a similar lesson lately, and although not always comfortable I am learning it is always worthwhile. Glad you are taking care of yourself and little Micah! Can't wait to see pictures of the little guy...in at least another 3 weeks or more ;)

  2. You wrote so beautifully, Kendall. And I noticed your other comments on Facebook about all the things you are thankful and grateful for. I am so grateful for you! You are truly a blessing in my life. I learn more from you every precious moment we spend together.

  3. Kendall, I am praying for you! As a fellow planner and one who also desires to control EVERYTHING about my life, I know how hard it can be to relinquish that control to the Lord. I have to remind myself everyday that this day belongs to Him and that I need to live according to His purpose for my life. Thanks for sharing your insight today. I love Joyce Meyer's quote, too...something interesting to think about! God's got everything in control for you. I'm praying that little Micah "cooks" for a little longer and that all goes smoothly for you in labor and delivery. Enjoy the quiet now and let me know if there's anything you need! Love you friend!